2005-12-29 -- 12:00 a.m. I find it odd that we treasure human life and human personality only in death. Only when a young football player, geek, druggy, or whore, dies, only then do we recognize their worth. It sickens me. Why cannot we treasure the people that are alive? The living don’t even get a second thought or a glance of retention. The dead are martyrs unwillingly! A child died during my sleepy transition through high school. I believe it was my tenth grade year. Kevin Recousie, was his name, although I have misspelled it. I did not know him personally; I didn’t even know him at all. Only in death did I even learn about him. Apparently what did him in at long last was a blood clot in his left leg. However, there were story’s throw out the school, a car crash, a fight so on and so fourth. Martyred was Kevin for great individuality, persona, athletics, friendship, integrity. Announcements for Kevin over the P.A. and the school new team cherished him as a fallen hero, savvy, died saving the school. And yet before he was as a passing whimper of human, an undesirable echo, another face among the crowd yelling and backstabbing just like the rest of us. And again, in death he became pure, resilient and unmoving. A modern Christ, now dead for we continue to sin, so far his legacy stretched, so great his legend grew. The school board funded a ‘memorial bench’ at the ostentatious football field. Christening the ground upon our feet, a remembrance of Kevin; yet still I cannot find a caring in my heart. Nothing in my soul yearns for this person. I did not know him, did not recognize his existence in the slightest degree. The school mourns for him nevertheless, and more died. Mike of a Heroin over dose(self induced, knowing for well what he was doing), another innocent soul taken from us prematurely. A person named Dan, a blood clot in the brain this time, the left hemisphere I was told. Before his death he suffered a two week coma. Still I cannot find a place in my heart for these dead. Irrelevantly, for some reason I care about the living. Although no one truly honestly die’s they’re absence will be missed. There are people here, around us now that are nothing less then great. Both wonderment and attachment can carry us to these people. Yet we fear death so greatly the dead take precedence over the living. There is no retribution in forgetting the dead, there is no eternal punishment. Grieve and let go, the whole world, the whole universe is alive; death is simply just another part of the future right before we’re sent back to the past. The Circle, the most perfect geometric figure, in it is everything, the most space can be found in a three dimensional dome. In other words what comes around, goes around. We are part of this domed universe in life and in death. Understanding this, in mere fraction will broaden your world exponentially. Anton.