2005-12-22 -- 6:51 p.m. This was my responce to a forward I was sent. The original List Of Faith is at the bottom. I was at the movie theater with some of my friends about three years ago. I was in eleventh grade at the time. My friends and I were all rough housing around the theater and I noticed a women staring at us. I have this obscure ability to notice details that most people would over look. As our eyes locked she looked away and ran off to the other end of the mall. Later on, after we bought hour tickets we had about and hour and a half to flack around the mall and disrupt the public peace. In any case I strayed from the group to enjoy a coke I just bought. As I was sitting in the food court, sipping on my coke the same women walks up to me with a burly man, hairy and bearded, real gruff looking. Both of they’re attention was on me. The man came close to my face and asked me: “Have you found Jesus?”, Saying this in a very heavy southern accent. At this point I was terrified. What in gods name (no pun intended) did this creep want with me. “No”, was my replay. Quick and to the point, both of them turned and left. The point of this story is the same thing this little list implies. It is yet another Christian bandwagon advertisement. Basically it is saying that if you embrace the Christian faith and follow these simple rules you’ll succeed in life flawlessly. Unfortunately life, in its most simple context, is a bitch. No other term in the English languid can define American life other then ‘is a bitch’. So here is my revised edition of the faith list: Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are usually exactly what they seem to be, don’t judge a book by its cover. You never know some one until they have to save your life or give you money. Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others usually do it to fulfill them themselves in the most selfish way? Before you do upon another you first and foremost do it upon yourself. Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are: You don’t need to pay me back, goodbye, and ‘all your debts are settled’. Did you know that those who dress in red picked that color probably the very morning they woke up on the day they chose to wear red? Did you know that those who dress in yellow shouldn’t? Did you know that those who dress in black are fat because black makes you look slimmer and more muscular? Look at any stand up comedian, most of the wear black on stage. Did you know that when you help someone, you should never expect anything back in return? People are selfish and maniacal and will do most anything to stab you in the back to get everything they can. Most of the time they’re the people most closest to you. Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? This is true because what you want to say to people could put in the hospital for blunt force trauma to the head. Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, nothing every happens because anything to ask for never comes true. You should never ask for anything. Anything you want you should get by yourself. There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, by stealing killing and backstabbing because if you don’t do this, someone will do it to you. But don't believe everything I tell you, until you try it for yourself, if you know someone that is in need of something that I mentioned, and you know that you can help, you’ll see that they’ll never call you back until they need something, like a rid to work or a hundred bucks to pay they’re bills. You can only count your true friends on one hand. Pissie little acts of faith will get you no where. Anything you ask for will never be given to you. And if it is, then the person that gave it to you will hold it against you forever until the favor is returned a hundred fold. This is the way life works, no matter how rich you are or how poor you are or how in love you are. Send this to not only your friends but to every single person out there. Original List: Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weak and most susceptible? Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need someone to protect them? Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are: I love you, Sorry and help me Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves? Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty? Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding? Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds? Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face? Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted? Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do. But don't believe everything I tell you, until you try it for yourself, if you know someone that is in need of something that I mentioned, and you know that you can help, you'll see that it will be returned in two-fold. Today, the ball of FRIENDSHIP is in your court, send this to those who truly are your friends (including me if I am one). Also, do not feel bad if no one sends this back to you in the end, you'll find out that you'll get to keep the ball for other people want more ..