2005-11-09 -- 1:18 a.m. Fuck this shit. My mind is to conjumbeled to think of anything, even if I force it. I’ve been sitting here staring at the fucking monitor for the last half out going through stanza after stanza after stanza. Nothing is coming out. I want to write about love, but I failed at that, I want to write about my problems… but there are too many for words. I want to write about the problems of the world, but Mr. Keenan has got that covered. I wish I wish I wish. I want to be fucking rich as hell. That’s what I wish, every time I go out to fix someone dirty, old messed up refrigerator. These people! God forbid I ever end up like one of my clients! Motherfuckers think they know everything. They have no clue as to how badly they’re being screwed over by me. I’m just a 20 year old fat kid out to their house and grabbing up checks for 200, 300 dollars for absolutely nothing. Fuck em, I need money. I can feel it in my legs, the edginess and tension. I’m so tired of this. Why can’t I just win the lotto. That would make my life so fucking easy. You know something. Winning the lottery is the whole point as to why we go to school. Think about it, we go to school for higher education of make more money and become rich. If someone my age won the lottery would they go back to school to get some stupid degree? Hell no! I would just drop. And don’t you fucking dare preach or lecture me of how my life isn’t going to be fulfilled or how I didn’t make something of myself. There are people that make hundreds of millions of dollars a year doing nothing, or so little as adjusting numbers for credit card companies. I’m telling you! I’ll be fulfilled, I’ll be just brimming with self fulfillment when I have more money then the Vatican’s. They have what? Like 140 billion dollars…. Dollars my friend. That’s USD. Ok, so the national debit. What the fuck is that anyway? How can the U.S. be in dept. The whole idea behind the USD is that the government-keyword-lends us a note that is worth itself in gold and at any point in time, considering that legally its their property, then can take it back. And then we have to ‘pay it back’… well if the national dept is the dept of the United States government then who its it being paid back too. And what holds the national dept… I mean is there a fucking little register book, like we all have, laying around the white house with a negative figurer in it? I don’t get it! Someone explain this to me! How can the government be in dept with its own fucking money. I’m sure that someone will give me some republican explanation. Anyway, I really don’t care. All I’m worried about is my own dept. I’m actually scared to open up bills now. I don’t want to pay them. How do I go from high school to poverty so damn quickly! Only took me a year damn it. Well I should clarify… as an individual I am considered by all accounts under the poverty level… but I live quite well. Thank you parental units. Well… this has been an official update in what? Four years now? Wow… hope its as boring as the rest of my shit. Peace out Anton