2005-01-07 -- 10:07 p.m. I try and remember exactly what I wanted from all of this. And I don’t remember. I’ve been letting my words take hold of me. Take me to place’s I’ve been in the past and I remember what it felt like. But not as it was, as I wanted it to be. So little I remember now. I just remember being myself. Something I haven’t been. I’ve been playing position, lawyer and repair man. I’ve had degrees in science and math. I’ve been everything except that I want to be. Sarah, Dustin, Dan, Cali, Jonah, and everyone else, Bev and Jaquie. Detroit, Michigan. My life, my childhood. I know the roads there, I’ve been myself there, I left me there. I remember so clearly what it is like. I remember so well what I wanted out of that place. But I’ll never get the chance to go back now. I have nothing there. Nothing, except for lost love and broken faith. I didn’t even leave my virginity there. Please some one save me before I lose myself, before I completly for get what its like to be me. Before I forget you and Sarah and Dustin and Cali and Dan and Jonah, and everyone else, Bev and Jaquie. Please god, don’t let me forget Anton